Choose the right time to talk
When is the right time to talk about a prenup? There’s no one answer to this question, as it depends on your relationship and situation. However, there are some general tips that can help you decide when the best time is to bring up the topic.
- Be honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings on prenups before getting engaged. It’s a difficult conversation to have, but the sooner you and your partner understand your needs before getting married, the less likely you’ll have any problems when it’s time to draft the certificate.
- If you’re already engaged and are only now bringing up the topic, consider your timing for this talk. The environment should be calm and quiet without distractions. You may want to wait for a time when your partner isn’t stressed about planning the wedding or dealing with family members.
- Finally, don’t bring it up as an aside or throwaway comment as your partner might not take your needs seriously. The first time you bring up the idea of having a prenup shouldn’t be when you’re doing your taxes or using a monthly loan repayment calculator to pay off your partner’s debt. Prenuptial agreements are serious topics that demand their own space and conversations, even if it’s an uncomfortable topic to tackle.
Let your fiance know you trust them
One of the most significant reasons a partner gets offended by the thought of a prenup is that they assume their fiance is planning for the worst-case scenario before the marriage has even begun. However, the truth is that prenuptial agreements aren’t about the worst-case scenario but are instead a loving act that shows both partners have value in the marriage and should be protected.
If your soon-to-be spouse thinks this shows how little faith you have in the relationship, you’ll need first to emphasize that this isn’t a comment on your level of trust with them at all. Talk with them about how committing to spend your lives together is the ultimate act of trust and that you wouldn’t be pledging yourself to them if there wasn’t an absolute faith in the relationship.
Explain the benefits of a Prenup
When you get married, you’re committing to spending the rest of your life with someone. It’s a big decision and one that should be made with careful consideration.
When considering bringing up the topic of getting a prenup, the best way to approach it is by framing the conversation around how it benefits both you and your spouse.
If you’re not sure how to word the benefits, here are a few talking points:
- A prenup is a legal contract that sets out the terms of your relationship before you get married. It could help protect both of you and your assets if something happens that results in a divorce.
- It can help you decide what property you want to split between you and your partner and can protect your partner’s inheritance.
- It can help keep communication open and help you resolve any disagreements before they turn into full-blown fights.
- It can ensure that you are on the same page about your relationship and what it means for both of you.
Make Sure the Agreement is fair for both Parties
Above all, you’ll need to ensure that both parties truly feel the prenup is fair and balanced to both sides. This means that you should be on the same page regarding what is being discussed and what each party is willing to give up should you need to divorce.
To ensure this happens, you’ll need to be honest and realistic about your expectations. Don’t offer something you don’t think you could live without if it were taken away from you just to keep the peace.
And finally, make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with the agreement before signing it. Not communicating either of your needs now can send your marriage down the wrong path and have you or your spouse hold onto feelings of resentment and anger.
The bottom line
Asking for a prenuptial agreement certificate can be a touchy subject, but it’s important to remember that it’s in both of your best interests. By following these tips, you can make the process easier for both of you.